Chosen: Finding belonging in the friend who never leaves
Genesis 1:26a, "Let us make man in our image, after our likeness."
Do you remember your very first friend?
I do. Her name was Julie.
She had long, honey-blonde hair that always looked perfectly brushed and caught the sunlight when we ran across the playground, so different from my own short brown hair that never seemed to stay in place. She wore the cutest clothes, carried herself with quiet confidence, and to my young eyes, she seemed to have everything together.
One day she gave me a Hello Kitty pencil with a tassel on the end. I loved it so much that I refused to sharpen it because I wanted it to last forever.
But what mattered most, wasn't the pencil. It was the fact that Julie chose me.
Every day at recess, she was my friend. We played together, talked together, and for a little girl who simply wanted to belong, that meant everything to me.
Until the day she didn't.
That day Julie had a new best friend, and suddenly I was the one left behind. I was devastated and couldn’t imagine why she would not want to be my friend any longer.
Have you ever experienced that feeling?
Perhaps it wasn't on a playground. Maybe it was a friendship that drifted apart, a group that moved on without you, or a relationship that didn't turn out the way you had hoped. Whatever the circumstance, most of us know what it feels like to be left behind.
Relationships are one of God's greatest gifts, but they can also be extremely messy. Sometimes they are ‘playground messy,’ and many times they become even more complicated as we grow into adulthood.
Yet despite the challenges, I am convinced that relationships are worth every effort.
A friend recently said something that has stayed with me: "We all need friendships so we can carry our stuff together instead of walking alone."
I couldn't agree more.
The older I get, the more I realize that friendship isn't simply something we enjoy—it is something we need.
And perhaps that's one reason God created us for community—not to carry life's burdens by ourselves, but to walk alongside one another through every season, sharing burdens and growing together.
Looking back now, I realize that playground friendship taught me something I would continue learning throughout life.
Being chosen feels wonderful. being left out hurts.
Whether we're six years old on a playground or sixty years old in a church pew, there is something deep within us that longs for connection, belonging, and companionship.
Our longing for relationship isn't accidental. It reflects the heart of the God who created us. From the beginning, God has existed in perfect relationship—Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Because we are made in His image, we were also created for relationship.
The concept of community is woven into the very fabric of creation. In Genesis 1:26, God says, "Let Us make man in Our image, after our likeness." The plural language reflects the relational nature of God Himself.
This truth becomes even clearer in Genesis 2:18 when God declares, "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”
The Hebrew word used for ‘helper’, is ezer . Far from suggesting someone less important, it describes one who comes alongside with strength, support, and aid. Remarkably, it is the same word often used to describe God Himself as our Helper.
So from the very beginning, God's design was never isolation but relationship.
In many ways, the entire Bible is the story of God's pursuit of His children. When sin entered the world in Genesis 3, humanity chose something else over relationship with God. Like a child wandering away from a loving parent, we turned from the very relationship we were created for. Yet from that moment forward, God began pursuing us, restoring what had been broken.
Because we live in a broken world, even God's beautiful design for relationships has been affected by sin. Friendships become strained. Misunderstandings happen. People disappoint us—and if we're honest, we disappoint others too.
Jennie Allen writes in her book titled Find Your People, three simple truths about human relationships.
You will disappoint me.
I will disappoint you.
God will never disappoint us.
The more I reflected on those three statements, the more I realized they reveal the proper order of every healthy relationship. Our relationship with God comes first an then every other relationship flows from there. Why?
Because God will never leave us alone on the playground, at the office, or in the church pew. Now I’m not saying relationships won’t take work but when we put them in their right place after our relationship with God, we have Him to help guide and direct us through the challenges of human relationships.
When we enter into relationships understanding these truths we are able to build authentic community with others because we know and understand that human relationships won’t be perfect. However, we can rest in the promise that our first relationship is never going to fail!
Human relationships will always require grace, forgiveness, patience, and humility. Some friendships will last a lifetime. Others will become treasured memories. But through every season, one relationship remains unchanged. Jesus will never stop choosing you. He will never leave you behind. And because your identity is rooted in Him, you can love others freely, knowing your deepest sense of belonging has already been secured.
Because in Christ, you have already been chosen and that will never change!
